Script (unperformed)

Originally we wrote a script to go alongside our puppet theatre but due to time restrictions we didn’t have enough time to perform it on opening night of the exhibition. However, here it is, in all its glory, our unperformed script (written in a time of delirium by our group after a deadline) :

Written by Eman Faisal KhanSanjana ChandrasekharJames BruinViviana Conti and myself


Opening scene:

Dark opening scene, sounds of thunder and flashes of lightning.

Sounds of distant screams gets closer and closer and you hear him falling onto something…still dark.

Lights come on and you see Ivan sitting in the stomach of the crocodile..

He starts looking around frantically and scene PAUSES, the narrator shows up..

Narrator: You’re probably wondering how this poor guy found himself in the belly of the beast. To tell you how this happened, we will have to turn back the clock just a bit. If you will!

*sounds of tape rewinding*

SCENE 1

Narrator: ” So here it is, where it all began. Our friend Ivan is sitting under a tree waiting to see THE CROCODILE!”
Ivan (the man who was swallowed by the crocodile) finds himself sitting under a tree in dim lighting.

Narrator: Little does Ivan know the characters he will have to go through to get to his precious crocodile…

(Waiting for Godot)

Narrator: “Enter Estrogen and Viagra, I mean Estragon and Vladimir”

Ivan: “I’m waiting for the crocodile”

E&V: “Well WE’RE WAITING FOR GODOT”

ESTRAGON: Charming spot. (He turns, advances to front, halts facing auditorium.) Inspiring prospects. (He turns to Vladimir.) Let’s go.

VLADIMIR: We can’t

ESTRAGON: Why not?

VLADIMIR: We’re waiting for Godot.

ESTRAGON: (despairingly). Ah! (Pause.) You’re sure it was here?

VLADIMIR: What?

ESTRAGON: That we were to wait.

VLADIMIR: He said by the tree. (They look at the tree.) Do you see any others?

ESTRAGON: What is it?

VLADIMIR: I don’t know. A willow.

ESTRAGON: Where are the leaves?

VLADIMIR: It must be dead.

ESTRAGON: No more weeping.

VLADIMIR: Or perhaps it’s not the season.

ESTRAGON: Looks to me more like a bush.

VLADIMIR: A shrub.

ESTRAGON: A bush.

VLADIMIR: A—. What are you insinuating? That we’ve come to the wrong place?

ESTRAGON: He should be here.

VLADIMIR: He didn’t say for sure he’d come.

ESTRAGON: And if he doesn’t come?

VLADIMIR: We’ll come back tomorrow.

ESTRAGON: And then the day after tomorrow.

VLADIMIR: Possibly.

ESTRAGON: And so on.

VLADIMIR: The point is—

ESTRAGON: Until he comes.

VLADIMIR: You’re merciless.

ESTRAGON: We came here yesterday.

VLADIMIR: Ah no, there you’re mistaken.

ESTRAGON: What did we do yesterday?

VLADIMIR: What did we do yesterday?

ESTRAGON: Yes.

VLADIMIR: Why . . . (Angrily.) Nothing is certain when you’re about.

ESTRAGON: In my opinion we were here.

VLADIMIR: (looking round). You recognize the place?

ESTRAGON: I didn’t say that.

VLADIMIR: Well?

ESTRAGON: That makes no difference.

VLADIMIR: All the same . . . that tree . . . (turning towards auditorium) that bog . . .

ESTRAGON: You’re sure it was this evening?

VLADIMIR: What?

ESTRAGON: That we were to wait.

Ivan kicks them out of the scene somehow

SCENE 2

Possessed Twins

A Flood is coming, A flood is coming, a flood is coming

Ghosts ‘woooooing’ in the background

A FLOOD IS COMING

Wooooo

Ivan: I’m waiting for a crocodile

A FLOOD IS COMING

Ivan: I’m waiting… for a crocodile

A FLOOOOOD IS COMING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Runs, screaming off stage*

SCENE 3

Narrator: “Lets meet Greta, a young woman running from her ever so passionate (almost too passionate) lover.”

Greta runs on stage, sound effects begin (the sounds of desperation begin as she panics running around in circles trying to hide from Nosferatu) Greta exits.

Narrator: “Ahh, here he comes! The one and only, Nosferatu…”

Nosferatu runs across the stage (in a sweeping manner) looking for Greta

Piano scale sound effect as Nosferatu runs up and down the stage

(silent movie SIGN) Nosferatu: “Have you seen my Greta? Where is my Greta?”

(silent movie SIGN) Ivan: “I don’t know, I’m WAITING FOR THE CROCODILE”

Nosferatu exits and piano sound drowns out with him

Scene 4

Narrator: “Let’s turn to our fury friends”

Dog and the werewolf appear

Dog: whof whof whof

Werewolf: hoooooooowwwwlll

Ivan: I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m waiting for my crocodile…

Dog: whof whof whof

Werewolf: hoooooooowwwwlll

Ivan: I told you guys I don’t understand you! Leave me alone to wait for my crocodile!

Dog: whof whof whof

Werewolf: hoooooooowwwwlll

Ivan: I’m.

Dog: Whoof

Ivan: Waiting

Dog: Whoof

Ivan: For

Werewolf: Howwwl

Ivan: My

Dog : Whoof

Ivan: CROCODILE

*dog tries to stab him*

Ivan: Whoah why are you trying to kill me!? I thought you were a mans best friend or something!?

Dog: Yeah

Ivan: BAD DOG…..

How dare you try to murder me…

Scene 5

Criminal barrister enters the scene laughing

Narrator: “Here comes the criminal barrister. He’s pretty smug because he just locked away a criminal who was obsessed with stealing *hats*, (CB laughs sinisterly)

Hat guy comes in trying to sell hats to Ivan, hounds him over and over to buy

Ivan: “I don’t need a hat, I’m just WAITING FOR THE CROCODILE”

Criminal Barrister walks over to the hat guy asking for a cowboy hat.

Arguing over the price of the hat (CB wants less, hat guy wants more)

CB: “Oh look! There’s your crocodile!!”

The other 2 turn and strobe lights start flashing, as lights flash both hat guy and CB spin and eventually turn to the other side to reveal their OTHER side and show their other sides.

CB has taken the hat that the hat guy was holding in his hands (?) and laughs maniacally, swoops away and leaves hat guy

Hat guy: “Oh dear, it seems my hands are tied!”

Scene 6

*Son and mother walk into scene*

Mum: *on the phone* “blablablablablabla” *all the way*

Son: *To mother* “I need money, I need Money, hello, I need money, hello, I need money”

Ivan: “Where is my Crocodile, I am so tired of waiting” (Son over hears Ivan talking to himself)

Narrator: “Sat next to a tree for hours, his fascination with this crocodile was turning into an obsession, that he began trusting a fellow stranger.”

Son: “You know sir, I’ve seen a crocodile. But there’s a price to pay”

Ivan: *takes out one note* “Will you tell me now?”

Son: “Hmm, my memory is very hazy..”

Ivan: *takes out more* “Will THIS suffice?”

Son: “I’m not too sure”

Ivan: *takes out a whole bunch* “Look, this is all I have–“

Son: *snatches all the money* “Ha-HA!” *runs away with the money*

Ivan: “Oh no! My moneeeeyyyy”

Scene 7

Demon-angel conscience on either shoulder

GIVE UP THE QUEST TO FIND THE CROCODILE

“NO, you must believe in yourself and follow your dreams. The Arcola followed theirs and made it through all their hardships, you must yo–“

*devil knocks angel out…follow me my child.”

Final Scene

*sounds of thunder* “A LESSON MUST BE TAUGHT HERE”

Narrator: Dear Zeus! ” *flies away*
Gods descend, arriving on clouds.

“Let’s teach ’em a lesson”.

Flood.

Ivan climbs tree.

Crocodile arrives.

Ivan is happy.

Crocodile swallows Ivan.

Ivan gets eaten, he states, Well this sucks……

End

All characters are taken from production taken from the Arcola theatre productions, we hope you’ve enjoyed it!

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